{"id":452,"date":"2007-05-04T09:15:32","date_gmt":"2007-05-04T08:15:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.branedy.net\/?p=452"},"modified":"2007-05-04T09:15:32","modified_gmt":"2007-05-04T08:15:32","slug":"the-rapture-past-tense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/?p=452","title":{"rendered":"The  Rapture, past tense!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have finally figured out why Fundamentalist Christian groups are so fanatical lately, it&#8217;s because the <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Rapture\">The Rapture<\/a> has already happened \ud83d\ude09 They didn&#8217;t get select to go, \ud83d\ude41 and so few did <strong>ascend<\/strong> that no one noticed. \ud83d\ude2e They believe the liberal press refused to report it, and that if they generate enough religious <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Zealotry\"> Zealotry<\/a> that they can get Jesus to come back around for a second pickup. Enjoy the Tribulation \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on the_content --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on the_content -->","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have finally figured out why Fundamentalist Christian groups are so fanatical lately, it&#8217;s because the The Rapture has already happened \ud83d\ude09 They didn&#8217;t get select to go, \ud83d\ude41 and so few did ascend that no one noticed. \ud83d\ude2e They<span class=\"ellipsis\">&hellip;<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/?p=452\">Read more <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">The  Rapture, past tense!<\/span><span class=\"meta-nav\"> &#8250;<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n<p><!-- end of .read-more --><!-- AddThis Advanced Settings generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><!-- AddThis Share Buttons generic via filter on get_the_excerpt --><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[18,6,20,15,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-452","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-conspiracies","category-funny-things","category-myths","category-religion","category-the-future"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/452","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=452"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/452\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=452"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=452"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.branedy.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=452"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}